So here I am. Back again to the drawing board and over-thinking every approach.

The problem, once again, is Kitsune.

I'm not sure why this story insists on being obstinate and not working with me when I want it to work. I love Moriko. I love Takeo. I don't know why every time I sit down, it has to be this grand battle between expectations and reality.

The truth is, when I sit down, I instantly start thinking of how un-poetic this new opening is, as compared to the old ones I've started and set aside. (I did notice that the opening in Scrivener came out really well, but I'm not sure if it was from the program or my mind-set at the time.)

So. I think it's time to just let it spill out.


Why isn't Kitsune working right now?

Because I'm putting so many expectations on it.

Because every single word has to be compared to Maggie Stiefvater or Laini Taylor or Nova Ren Suma. Every word has to shine. It has to overpower the reader with its beauty.

Because I put too much expectations on Moriko. I want her to say everything right the first time around. I don't give room for errors.

I want the story to be right the first time.

And I'm making it too hard.


What are some solutions?

The parents like the very first draft. Maybe I should use that as my blueprint.

Sumayyah Daud suggested bullet-pointing scenes in a notebook and then padding them up on paper. Maybe I should do that for the scenes of the first part, since that's the part that's driving me spare.

Remember that I have critique partners and friends who are going to look over this when it's done. Don't stress out over the writing.

Use the Scrivener coupon and transfer my writing to there. I hear too many good things about it, and I seem to have been doing good when I was using it myself.

Use these authors as an inspiration, not a yardstick for my own faults. Remember to steal like an artist. They are like fairy godmothers. Amparo said Nova Ren Suma is my spirit animal, so I should take it that way.